


Problems

by stupidHumans (orphan_account)



Category: Suite Life on Deck, suite life of zack and cody
Genre: .... and i just explained the plot, M/M, Mental Disorder, Oh, cody gots problems, don't read these, zack helps him
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-08
Updated: 2012-08-07
Packaged: 2017-11-11 16:40:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/480623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/stupidHumans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He thought about things. Zack's smile.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Problems

**Author's Note:**

> this is really just an experiment to work with more of a story-heavy fic than dialogue-heavy like i usually do  
> so enjoy i guess

Sunday afternoon. Plenty of time, Cody thought. He stepped into the shower, scalding water streaking down his shoulders and chest. It burned, but if felt good. 

The boy knew he wouldn’t be coming out of the shower for a while. Zack was out with friends and wouldn’t be back for a few hours and his mother had left to run some errands and go to the gym, leaving Cody to himself in the suite. He got the shower brush from its handle, brushed the soap against its bristles, and then went to work on his body. Cody scoured his chest, his lower back, his shoulders, his legs, his arms, his stomach, his feet, anywhere he could reach. His entire being stung. He then reemerged himself into the burning water, rinsing off the suds. Literally, lather rinse and repeat. 

Over and over again, scrubbing and rinsing, always sure he’d missed a spot, that he didn’t get one body area good enough. Lather, rinse, repeat. For almost three hours. 

As he vigorously washed himself, he thought about things. Zack’s smile. His brother’s laugh when he found out how neatly put together everything was on Cody’s side of the room when his was a pig sty. His loathe and anger later that day when he opened his drawer to see everything strewn about inside. How he slammed the drawer closed and went to find his brother, who was sitting on the couch watching TV. How he yelled, watching Zack’s eyes grow wide. He thought about how Zack told him it was to help him loosen up, to live a little. He remembered wanting to drag his nails down his brother’s face. Loosen up?  He couldn’t. He needed things a very certain way or he just couldn’t function.

His more-than-brotherly love for Zack. How usually his hands were busy with something else rather than this forceful scrubbing in the shower. How his brother’s smile was what he’d been living off of since they were around eleven years old. He remembered his first wet dream, where it wasn’t a pretty girl with him but his brother there making him feel amazing. His realization that yes, he was attracted to his brother but no, it wasn’t going to change anything unless Zack wanted it to. His envy of Zack’s social achievements when Cody only had academic. He thought about how many girls Zack’s probably kissed even though they were only thirteen.

He thought about how much of a loser he was compared to his brother.

His arms grew sore from all the labor they’d been put through. He rinsed one last time before giving up on cleaning, shutting the water off and stepping out. He still hurt, barely able to brush his arms against his sides without tearing up.  He grabbed a towel and put it to his stomach, but the fibers felt like they were grinding against his pink, sensitive skin instead of being soft and inviting like towels used to be. Sitting down on the floor of the bathroom, he sprawled out so his body parts wouldn’t touch one another. With his weight on his palms, he silently wept, teardrops singeing his chest as they fell.

“Cody?” Zack shut the door behind him and went to their room. “Codes?” 

“In here,” A quiet voice answered, coming from the bathroom. Zack went over to the bathroom they shared and opened the door. Inside, he saw his brother sitting on the floor, trying not to let his body touch itself. The older of the two ran over there, but was careful not to put his hands on Cody. The twin’s entire body was pink, some places almost deep red.

“What happened?! Did you fall or something?” Zack, just now noticing that his brother was completely naked, shied his eyes from his brother’s genitals. He really wished Cody would cover himself, but figured he’d done it if he could a long time ago.

Cody lowered his eyes. “It wasn’t clean enough.”

“What are you talking about?” Zack couldn’t help it; he put his hand forcefully onto Cody’s shoulder. Cody yelped and shied away, but he saw the apology in his brother’s eyes. “Sorry,” Zack muttered. He fiddled his thumbs. He’d always been there for his brother, but he didn’t know how to deal with this.

“My body. I was in the shower and it never got clean enough. It’s still dirty even now.” 

Zack’s eyes widened, and Cody flinched. “Do you do this a lot?” 

The two boys sat there, one obviously confused, the other obviously apprehensive. Cody wanted to tell his brother, but this was still pretty new to him too. He’d always liked things a certain way, but he’d never obsessed over something such as his own body like this before.

“No. First time.”

“Can you stand up?”

“Yes.”

Zack took his brother’s hand, careful not to touch anywhere that was red. He sure did scrub some layers off, Zack thought. Cody’s body was sunburn pink, and he could wager that it hurt like sunburn, too.

“Think you can put clothes on?” Zack asked, trying not to sound disgusted at Cody’s nudity.

Cody felt his stomach, but only slightly cringed. “Maybe something light,” He suggested.

“Boys, I’m home!” A familiar voice and a slam of the door rushed the boys into their room. It was already seven thirty at night?

The younger twin pulled on a thin t-shirt and boxers as fast as he could while the other twin went out to stall their mother.

“Hey mom!” Zack gave a bright smile. “How was the gym?”

Carrie looked at her son with a guilty smile. “Well, I’m not sure, but the ice cream stand was wonderful!”

As they shot the crap, Cody examined himself in the mirror. A little pink on his arms and legs, but not too noticeable. At least, he hoped. He pulled his nerves together and tried to act normal, to walk normal, to breathe normal when his breath wanted to hitch because of the bad friction. He opened the door, seeing Zack talking with his mother.

“What do you mean red?”

“All over his body, its real bad- Cody, come show her!”

Cody stepped back and held his breath. He looked from his mother’s concerned face to Zack’s, unhappy with the spotlight on him.

They were all silent, Cody not wanting to go further and the other two waiting on him.  It was Carrie that finally broke the silence. 

“Why are you red?” She rushed over to Cody and held his arm, looking at his skin close up. Cody bit back tears from the painful contact, but his mom soon dropped his arm, now scared to hurt him. His mother looked speechless, so this time Zack was the one to speak.

“He was in the bathroom,” Zack started. “He said he wasn’t clean enough.”

Carrie hated it, but she couldn’t peel her eyes away from her son’s skin. “Not clean enough?” She tried to understand, but this had never happened to her.

Cody reluctantly pulled up his shirt; it was red there, too. Carrie ordered her other son to his room while she studied Cody’s body. Arms: Red. Chest: Red. Legs: Red. Lower back: Red. Shoulders: Red. His mother tried to piece everything together. Why would my son do this? 

She stood up and brushed her pants off with her hands. “Cody, go join Zack. I have to make a phone call.” Cody complied easily, enjoying not being under inspection anymore. Carrie reached for her cell phone and called the twins’ doctor. She explained that her son had scrubbed his skin and it hurt him to be touched too forcefully, that he could hardly brush his arms against his sides. They scheduled an appointment with the doctor and then a therapist afterwards.

Carrie sat down with sudden exhaustion.  What would the doctors say?

Cody walked back to his shared room. Zack was playing their video game console. Cody didn’t really enjoy video games himself, but he enjoyed watching his brother play them. Hell, he enjoyed watching his brother do everything. He was the brother who observed; he stood on the sidelines, cheering his twin on to victory. People had tried to make things fair between the two, but Cody accepted that it just wasn’t. He was the lesser twin and he was okay with it. Zack would always be cooler, stronger, more popular than Cody. He would be the guy everyone liked, who got the cutest girl in school and good enough grades to play on the team, while Cody was the nerdy queer that was introverted and thin and usually alone. What was sad was he had even tried to date girls in order to push away the feelings for his brother, but his pick wasn’t the finest and each girl just made him feel guilty. 

Zack kept fighting monsters as Cody watched in silence, just thinking about things.

He’s even more attractive than me and we’re twins for crying out loud, Cody thought. 

The older of the two looked over at his brother, who was looking at the television screen but was deep in thought. He paused the game and set down the controller to watch his brother’s reaction, but there was none. Zack nudged his brother lightly, and Cody came back to reality.

“You okay?” Zack asked.

Cody brushed his hair from his eyes and sat up from his slouch. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“Well, you’ve been sitting there for thirty five minutes with the same expression on your face even though I’m playing the best Super Mario Bros. session of my life.” Zack then cut off the TV and sat facing his brother. He reached out and put his hand on his brother’s knee. “Now what’s really going on?”

Cody looked down in fear at the contact and moved his leg, Zack’s hand dropping to his side. 

“Nothing.” 

“Really?”

“… No.”

Zack blinked. He actually got an answer out of Cody for a change. 

“What’s wrong?”

Cody leaned down and propped his head with his hands, elbows digging into his knees. “I can’t tell you.”

Can’t tell me? 

“Cody.” Zack scolded. “You know you can tell me anything.” He watched Cody fidget and grabbed onto his brother’s shoulder.

“Does that hurt?”

“Not really.”

Zack left his hand there. He turned Cody toward him. This time, his voice was quiet. “What’s going on?”

Cody sighed. “If I told you you’d hate me.”

Zack looked at his brother in confusion. There had been times when he had disliked what his brother had done, when he silently wished his brother wasn’t his brother, but he had never hated Cody. What could this possibly be about? 

“Cody I could never hate you; you’re my brother. I love you, man. Nothing’s going to change that.” He looked at his brother, trying to see what was going on in his head.

“… I love you too.” 

Weird, Zack thought. He sounded so nervous about that. He shouldn’t be, we’re brothers- twins! He wanted to know so much more, to finally get to know what Cody was thinking about all those times he spaced out when they were doing something together. He wanted to be the person who knew all of Cody, and even though he kind of already was, Cody still shut his brother off in ways. Zack wanted an even more intimate connection with his brother. He wanted to give Cody all he had and get Cody’s back in return. 

What he didn’t realize was that Cody felt exactly the same. Of course, he didn’t quite know or understand the depth of his love for his brother; only that it was there and probably healthy.

He got up and left Cody alone, to the younger twin’s relief. Zack began undressing for bed, the clock nearing ten fifteen.

Cody let out air he didn’t know he had been holding.

Chapter One: Problems

Sunday afternoon. Plenty of time, Cody thought. He stepped into the shower, scalding water streaking down his shoulders and chest. It burned, but if felt good. 

The boy knew he wouldn’t be coming out of the shower for a while. Zack was out with friends and wouldn’t be back for a few hours and his mother had left to run some errands and go to the gym, leaving Cody to himself in the suite. He got the shower brush from its handle, brushed the soap against its bristles, and then went to work on his body. Cody scoured his chest, his lower back, his shoulders, his legs, his arms, his stomach, his feet, anywhere he could reach. His entire being stung. He then reemerged himself into the burning water, rinsing off the suds. Literally, lather rinse and repeat. 

Over and over again, scrubbing and rinsing, always sure he’d missed a spot, that he didn’t get one body area good enough. Lather, rinse, repeat. For almost three hours. 

As he vigorously washed himself, he thought about things. Zack’s smile. His brother’s laugh when he found out how neatly put together everything was on Cody’s side of the room when his was a pig sty. His loathe and anger later that day when he opened his drawer to see everything strewn about inside. How he slammed the drawer closed and went to find his brother, who was sitting on the couch watching TV. How he yelled, watching Zack’s eyes grow wide. He thought about how Zack told him it was to help him loosen up, to live a little. He remembered wanting to drag his nails down his brother’s face. Loosen up?  He couldn’t. He needed things a very certain way or he just couldn’t function.

His more-than-brotherly love for Zack. How usually his hands were busy with something else rather than this forceful scrubbing in the shower. How his brother’s smile was what he’d been living off of since they were around eleven years old. He remembered his first wet dream, where it wasn’t a pretty girl with him but his brother there making him feel amazing. His realization that yes, he was attracted to his brother but no, it wasn’t going to change anything unless Zack wanted it to. His envy of Zack’s social achievements when Cody only had academic. He thought about how many girls Zack’s probably kissed even though they were only thirteen.

He thought about how much of a loser he was compared to his brother.

His arms grew sore from all the labor they’d been put through. He rinsed one last time before giving up on cleaning, shutting the water off and stepping out. He still hurt, barely able to brush his arms against his sides without tearing up.  He grabbed a towel and put it to his stomach, but the fibers felt like they were grinding against his pink, sensitive skin instead of being soft and inviting like towels used to be. Sitting down on the floor of the bathroom, he sprawled out so his body parts wouldn’t touch one another. With his weight on his palms, he silently wept, teardrops singeing his chest as they fell.

“Cody?” Zack shut the door behind him and went to their room. “Codes?” 

“In here,” A quiet voice answered, coming from the bathroom. Zack went over to the bathroom they shared and opened the door. Inside, he saw his brother sitting on the floor, trying not to let his body touch itself. The older of the two ran over there, but was careful not to put his hands on Cody. The twin’s entire body was pink, some places almost deep red.

“What happened?! Did you fall or something?” Zack, just now noticing that his brother was completely naked, shied his eyes from his brother’s genitals. He really wished Cody would cover himself, but figured he’d done it if he could a long time ago.

Cody lowered his eyes. “It wasn’t clean enough.”

“What are you talking about?” Zack couldn’t help it; he put his hand forcefully onto Cody’s shoulder. Cody yelped and shied away, but he saw the apology in his brother’s eyes. “Sorry,” Zack muttered. He fiddled his thumbs. He’d always been there for his brother, but he didn’t know how to deal with this.

“My body. I was in the shower and it never got clean enough. It’s still dirty even now.” 

Zack’s eyes widened, and Cody flinched. “Do you do this a lot?” 

The two boys sat there, one obviously confused, the other obviously apprehensive. Cody wanted to tell his brother, but this was still pretty new to him too. He’d always liked things a certain way, but he’d never obsessed over something such as his own body like this before.

“No. First time.”

“Can you stand up?”

“Yes.”

Zack took his brother’s hand, careful not to touch anywhere that was red. He sure did scrub some layers off, Zack thought. Cody’s body was sunburn pink, and he could wager that it hurt like sunburn, too.

“Think you can put clothes on?” Zack asked, trying not to sound disgusted at Cody’s nudity.

Cody felt his stomach, but only slightly cringed. “Maybe something light,” He suggested.

“Boys, I’m home!” A familiar voice and a slam of the door rushed the boys into their room. It was already seven thirty at night?

The younger twin pulled on a thin t-shirt and boxers as fast as he could while the other twin went out to stall their mother.

“Hey mom!” Zack gave a bright smile. “How was the gym?”

Carrie looked at her son with a guilty smile. “Well, I’m not sure, but the ice cream stand was wonderful!”

As they shot the crap, Cody examined himself in the mirror. A little pink on his arms and legs, but not too noticeable. At least, he hoped. He pulled his nerves together and tried to act normal, to walk normal, to breathe normal when his breath wanted to hitch because of the bad friction. He opened the door, seeing Zack talking with his mother.

“What do you mean red?”

“All over his body, its real bad- Cody, come show her!”

Cody stepped back and held his breath. He looked from his mother’s concerned face to Zack’s, unhappy with the spotlight on him.

They were all silent, Cody not wanting to go further and the other two waiting on him.  It was Carrie that finally broke the silence. 

“Why are you red?” She rushed over to Cody and held his arm, looking at his skin close up. Cody bit back tears from the painful contact, but his mom soon dropped his arm, now scared to hurt him. His mother looked speechless, so this time Zack was the one to speak.

“He was in the bathroom,” Zack started. “He said he wasn’t clean enough.”

Carrie hated it, but she couldn’t peel her eyes away from her son’s skin. “Not clean enough?” She tried to understand, but this had never happened to her.

Cody reluctantly pulled up his shirt; it was red there, too. Carrie ordered her other son to his room while she studied Cody’s body. Arms: Red. Chest: Red. Legs: Red. Lower back: Red. Shoulders: Red. His mother tried to piece everything together. Why would my son do this? 

She stood up and brushed her pants off with her hands. “Cody, go join Zack. I have to make a phone call.” Cody complied easily, enjoying not being under inspection anymore. Carrie reached for her cell phone and called the twins’ doctor. She explained that her son had scrubbed his skin and it hurt him to be touched too forcefully, that he could hardly brush his arms against his sides. They scheduled an appointment with the doctor and then a therapist afterwards.

Carrie sat down with sudden exhaustion.  What would the doctors say?

Cody walked back to his shared room. Zack was playing their video game console. Cody didn’t really enjoy video games himself, but he enjoyed watching his brother play them. Hell, he enjoyed watching his brother do everything. He was the brother who observed; he stood on the sidelines, cheering his twin on to victory. People had tried to make things fair between the two, but Cody accepted that it just wasn’t. He was the lesser twin and he was okay with it. Zack would always be cooler, stronger, more popular than Cody. He would be the guy everyone liked, who got the cutest girl in school and good enough grades to play on the team, while Cody was the nerdy queer that was introverted and thin and usually alone. What was sad was he had even tried to date girls in order to push away the feelings for his brother, but his pick wasn’t the finest and each girl just made him feel guilty. 

Zack kept fighting monsters as Cody watched in silence, just thinking about things.

He’s even more attractive than me and we’re twins for crying out loud, Cody thought. 

The older of the two looked over at his brother, who was looking at the television screen but was deep in thought. He paused the game and set down the controller to watch his brother’s reaction, but there was none. Zack nudged his brother lightly, and Cody came back to reality.

“You okay?” Zack asked.

Cody brushed his hair from his eyes and sat up from his slouch. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“Well, you’ve been sitting there for thirty five minutes with the same expression on your face even though I’m playing the best Super Mario Bros. session of my life.” Zack then cut off the TV and sat facing his brother. He reached out and put his hand on his brother’s knee. “Now what’s really going on?”

Cody looked down in fear at the contact and moved his leg, Zack’s hand dropping to his side. 

“Nothing.” 

“Really?”

“… No.”

Zack blinked. He actually got an answer out of Cody for a change. 

“What’s wrong?”

Cody leaned down and propped his head with his hands, elbows digging into his knees. “I can’t tell you.”

Can’t tell me? 

“Cody.” Zack scolded. “You know you can tell me anything.” He watched Cody fidget and grabbed onto his brother’s shoulder.

“Does that hurt?”

“Not really.”

Zack left his hand there. He turned Cody toward him. This time, his voice was quiet. “What’s going on?”

Cody sighed. “If I told you you’d hate me.”

Zack looked at his brother in confusion. There had been times when he had disliked what his brother had done, when he silently wished his brother wasn’t his brother, but he had never hated Cody. What could this possibly be about? 

“Cody I could never hate you; you’re my brother. I love you, man. Nothing’s going to change that.” He looked at his brother, trying to see what was going on in his head.

“… I love you too.” 

Weird, Zack thought. He sounded so nervous about that. He shouldn’t be, we’re brothers- twins! He wanted to know so much more, to finally get to know what Cody was thinking about all those times he spaced out when they were doing something together. He wanted to be the person who knew all of Cody, and even though he kind of already was, Cody still shut his brother off in ways. Zack wanted an even more intimate connection with his brother. He wanted to give Cody all he had and get Cody’s back in return. 

What he didn’t realize was that Cody felt exactly the same. Of course, he didn’t quite know or understand the depth of his love for his brother; only that it was there and probably healthy.

He got up and left Cody alone, to the younger twin’s relief. Zack began undressing for bed, the clock nearing ten fifteen.

Cody let out air he didn’t know he had been holding. 


End file.
